even if it's someone else with your name
and the signs aren't even signifying you.
it feels like my heart puts on a wool turtleneck on a NY summers day
and heat can only escape out the top
as steam rises.
i shake it off.
because now you're not the first thing to come to mind
when i fill my Brita
or take the N train
i lost the wallet you hated
and my phone stopped working so your angry bird scores
aren't there to remind me
of your superiority.
but i still don't venture farther east on the L train
and i still don't eat mac n cheese
and i still don't know what to say.
i just know that i can't say "you're breaking up" on the phone
whenever static interferes
without my voice mimicking the waves quiver.