Monday, July 16, 2012

surrender

are you out there?
do you read this?
if you did, would you tell me?
would you contact me if I wanted you to?

saudade

the melancholy where past meets future
where last week
we dreamed together long enough
that i could almost feel you

we were on a retreat somewhere
hiding from everyone
including ourselves
and you reached out for my hand
and i pulled away
and i said

"no, i'm a different person now
a lot has changed in the past year
i've grown, i've changed"

and you said,

"I know, I have too"

and i replied,

"good, let's keep it that way, there is still more growth that needs to occur"

then i awoke.
and you were still gone.
and i wanted to go back to bed
just to have you close to me again
just for a little bit
even if I didn't want to touch
even if I couldn't go back
i just wanted you close again
just for a little bit.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

No Road
 Since we agreed to let the road between us
 Fall to disuse,
 And bricked our gates up, planted trees to screen us,
 And turned all time's eroding agents loose,
 Silence, and space, and strangers - our neglect
 Has not had much effect.

 Leaves drift unswept, perhaps; grass creeps unmown;
 No other change.
 So clear it stands, so little overgrown,
 Walking that way tonight would not seem strange,
 And still would be followed. A little longer,
 And time would be the stronger,

 Drafting a world where no such road will run
 From you to me;
 To watch that world come up like a cold sun,
 Rewarding others, is my liberty.
 Not to prevent it is my will's fulfillment.
 Willing it, my ailment.
-- Philip Larkin