i will love with urgency, and not with haste

things i would tell you if we were speaking:

1. i'm sorry.
2. i miss our conversations
3. you should read about Buber and I and Thou, it would make for good research for your book.
4. your sister emailed me recently. did you know?
5. i might be ready to speak to you again.
6. actually, not, probably not.
7. it's because on some level I know I still love you.
8. maybe i always will?

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget


---

last night i could hold you
even though i knew i couldn't hold on long
there was while when i held you
and you fumbled reckless in my arms