i will love with urgency, and not with haste

things i would tell you if we were speaking:

1. i'm sorry.
2. i miss our conversations
3. you should read about Buber and I and Thou, it would make for good research for your book.
4. your sister emailed me recently. did you know?
5. i might be ready to speak to you again.
6. actually, not, probably not.
7. it's because on some level I know I still love you.
8. maybe i always will?

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget


---

last night i could hold you
even though i knew i couldn't hold on long
there was while when i held you
and you fumbled reckless in my arms

surrender

are you out there?
do you read this?
if you did, would you tell me?
would you contact me if I wanted you to?

saudade

the melancholy where past meets future
where last week
we dreamed together long enough
that i could almost feel you

we were on a retreat somewhere
hiding from everyone
including ourselves
and you reached out for my hand
and i pulled away
and i said

"no, i'm a different person now
a lot has changed in the past year
i've grown, i've changed"

and you said,

"I know, I have too"

and i replied,

"good, let's keep it that way, there is still more growth that needs to occur"

then i awoke.
and you were still gone.
and i wanted to go back to bed
just to have you close to me again
just for a little bit
even if I didn't want to touch
even if I couldn't go back
i just wanted you close again
just for a little bit.

No Road

 Since we agreed to let the road between us
 Fall to disuse,
 And bricked our gates up, planted trees to screen us,
 And turned all time's eroding agents loose,
 Silence, and space, and strangers - our neglect
 Has not had much effect.

 Leaves drift unswept, perhaps; grass creeps unmown;
 No other change.
 So clear it stands, so little overgrown,
 Walking that way tonight would not seem strange,
 And still would be followed. A little longer,
 And time would be the stronger,

 Drafting a world where no such road will run
 From you to me;
 To watch that world come up like a cold sun,
 Rewarding others, is my liberty.
 Not to prevent it is my will's fulfillment.
 Willing it, my ailment.

-- Philip Larkin

from the Fluxus handbook

Jed Curtis
Music for my son

Do not prepare for
the performance and
and even try to forget that
in a short time you will be
performing. When the time of the 
performance comes, simply do something
appropriate.
(no date)


Milan Kzinak
Marriage Ceremony

Everyone walks deep into the woods until
they come to a clearing. They sit in a
circle with the couple in the center. They
are silent. Then the lovers stand and kiss.
They exchange gifts, which must not be
bought.
They drink red wine from a goblet. Then
everyone drinks red wine. In the center of
the circle, they plant a tree, and, in a
different place, they light a fire.
Everyone eats, drinks, talks and enjoys
themselves together.
Every third year the couple must visit this
place on their anniversary. Only the most
serious reasons must prevent them from
doing so.
(1967)

Peter Frank
Thank you piece

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
politeness is NO crime
(date unknown)